How I really feel about my body

Hello, my name is Hayley and I lack body confidence

A few weeks ago I collaborated with a few other Perth bloggers for Relatable Miss Renton‘s post about body confidence.

During a fitness class we lifted the lid on how we feel about our bodies, but I felt I had way to get more off my chest, so here’s how I feel about my body…

Despite plastering photos of myself on the internet, I’m far from body confident.

Nine times out of ten I’ll find something I hate about a photo: “My hair is too short, my hips are too wide, my nails are disgusting (I bite them), my arms are flabby, and why the fuck do I have a food baby first thing in the morning?!” But these are also thoughts I’ll have standing in front of a mirror as well as a camera, and on a bad day can bring me to tears.

I’m way too hard on my body, and although I workout 4 times a week, eat like like an angel and have always been a size 8, I still criticise what I see in the mirror. And that in some people’s eyes makes me unhealthy.

Screen Shot 2015-08-24 at 1.23.37 pm

I would love to love my body, which is why I’ve changed my lifestyle in recent months.

I now do boxing and circuit training 4 times a week – cardio never changed my body, Kayla Itsines grew my arse, stomach and thighs (cheers babe) – and I’m educating myself on food rather than going on the latest fad diet.

But most importantly, instead of aspiring to the waifs gracing the covers of Vogue, I now want to be toned and strong like the fitness models pushing those skinny bitches out of my Instagram feed.

hayley primping perth

Besides, I LOVE FOOD! I LOVE WINE! And my problem is: I want to have my cake and eat it. Literally. I want a six pack, and also a six pack of brownies.

So if I want to have abs and baby guns as well as my wine and chocolate, I need to get off my arse and earn it.

Having said that, every now and again I have my ‘fuck it’ moments when I realise that I can’t spend 8 fucking hours at the gym every day like these personal trainers, and I fucking love nights on the couch with my boyfriend hoovering up an orgasmic pizza with a bottle of red. Those models never indulge like that, and I don’t want to cut out those small morsels of joy!

Will I ever be happy in the skin that I’m in? Maybe, maybe not. But I do know that life is too short to always ‘hold the ice cream’ in your iced coffee, or avoid brunch with friends because the cafe doesn’t serve salad.

I’m already excited by the definition forming on my stomach, so I’ll give this new fitness regime a go and start culling the stick insects from my Instagram feed… right after I finish this Chardonnay.

What? It’s a Friday night!

perth bloggers

From left: Demelza Buckley, me, Dynamique, The Illusive Femme, Acron Threads, Relatable Miss Renton

Photography: Precious S2 Photography

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